Why Indian women should stop buying husbands and say goodbye to Big Fat Indian Weddings? Say #NoToBigFatIndianWeddings

Most of the Indians grow up with one dream.

I will get married one day to the love of my life, have kids and then life would be a heaven to live in.

How do I know all this?

Obviously! I myself had all these dreams, Hi5! Every Indian is sold this dream that one fine day, they will get married amidst a grand celebration.

I have certain questions that I would like you all to answer. They are:-

Question No:1 Why are weddings celebrated ?

Your answers would be:-

-To Celebrate the union of two humans.

-Relatives and friends coming together to dance, eat, give their blessings and enjoy the biggest turning points in the life of bride and the bride groom.

Question No 2: Are #BigFatIndianWeddings necessary to celebrate the event? Is that show off necessary?

Please leave your comments down below in the comments section.

Give it a thought. Some of the reasons, we should try saying no to #BigFatIndianWeddings are:-

1.Wastage Of Food

We invite guests. No, we invite Judges.

Why? have you never overheard that aunty complaining that salt was less or the slices of bread were undercooked. Most of the people Judge and compare the weddings that they attend.

To step up the game the organizers make sure that they have a Gol Gappa stall, a fresh fruit stall, Pav bhaji from the cities most amazing caterer, OH! South Indian stall. The main course covers Punjabi, Italian, Chinese, Rajasthani, etc. Oh! Deserts are also there.

Can anyone eat so much? No, then why do we do all this? I hope you answer this in your head.

It’s nothing but wastage. In a country wherein people are not able to afford two square meals a day, wherein we all backlashed the Indian Government for constructing the statue for a whopping 3000 crore rupees just because we have poverty which forces people to sleep empty stomach.

It’s not only about money. It’s about the resources like the food grains, water, electricity and the plastic waste that we contribute to through these functions. Aren’t you and I responsible? Can we stop doing this?

2. Stand up for families who cannot afford #BigFatIndianWeddings but are forced to do it because “LOG KYA KAHENGE”

We often find families who have to take huge loans to get their daughters married off. If we as a person pledge that we will get married in a small wedding wherein only the people who matter are invited and some food items are served. Things can change for better

3. Girl’s would no more be a burden- A family doesn’t have to give up all their savings to marry off their girls

You will say it doesn’t happens in this 21st century. It is happening just flip your eyes a bit more. The society has created this ritual/ rule of having a big wedding function. But have you ever thought, “Why girls are considered to be a burden?”A Girl is considered to be a burden by their families because of two reasons:-

A girl’s marriage= Huge expense (Parent’s life long earnings are spent on the wedding of a girl) while a boy’s marriage = Gifts

It’s difficult for a girl to be with her parents when they need her in their old age because our society is still of the opinion that girls ought to serve their in laws or girls cannot live with their own parents in the time of need and distress.

4. ISN’T IT LIKE BUYING HUSBANDS?

Indian Weddings are like a corporate deal wherein the girls family buys a husband for her. This is the most expensive gift that most of the families buy for their daughters. The rates of boys are fixed keeping in mind aspects like that of

a) the yearly salary of the man

b) the social status of his family

c) the amount of land which the family of the groom owns

d) how many siblings does the groom has

e)  if the property is divided how much would the groom inherit

 f ) the car which the groom owns

g) the house wherein the family is living, the list is unending like the advantages of having oats at the back of the safola oats packaging

In India the most expensive grooms are the government grooms means the ones who are into Government Service. The higher the post, the higher are their prices. Imagine a Judge who hears dowry cases himself was bought by someone for maybe a million or so. Hilarious, but true!

5. In case marriage doesn’t works out- The huge investment would go into loss

At that point, its all in regret because if the huge amount which was wasted on a 3-hour affair would have been saved. She would have been financially and emotionally strong to take the step of standing up against the wrong. But rather things like this happen:-

+ A girl would avoid sharing her pain and trauma with her family: Because that amount would always be on display in her head.

+ Her brothers won’t allow her to come back or give her the same status as they will keep reminding her about the money spent on her wedding.

+ She is financially dependent on her family if she goes back to her own family- The most difficult thing to do after marriage

+ The long war of litigation to get that money back which in most cases never comes back

6. Cutting down on Female foeticide: You will be like this is bullshit. How can my not doing a #BigFatIndianWedding lead to stopping of female foeticides. It does-

I belong to a middle-class family. My dad can put up an amazing #BigFatIndianWedding for me and things would be miraculous.  But, there are girls whose family cannot afford even a #NormalIndianWedding and such families abort girl child. They consider a girl as a burden on them. An average of 239,000 excess deaths take place each year of girls under the age of five due to gender discrimination, a study, published in the journal Lancet Global Health has found.

 DISCLAIMER:- Remember one thing the change begins from I and to bring the change in society first we ourselves need to change. People will inspire from one “i” and there will be a million “I’s”.

7. A father’s/mother’s/brother’s lifetimes earning are spent on a one week’s show, some are forced to take loans

We all assume that it’s completely fine. They have to, they ought to! Put this question to yourself do they really need to? SOME OF THEM EVEN HAVE TO TAKE FRIENDLY LOANS. They are just friends for namesake Actually they are on a much higher interest rate than the banks because banks don’t give loans for marriage.

8. Some parents don’t live a fulfilling life just to make sure they collect money for the weddings of their kids

9. Instead of gifting a luxurious car to a girl, the parents should focus on making her financially independent by giving her all the opportunities to be educated

10. Are you inviting people to your wedding out of obligation?

Have you ever been invited to a wedding where you don’t know any one of the two partners who are getting married? I have been to several such weddings wherein I am nudging my mom and asking, From whose side are we attending the wedding? We are just an obligation at such weddings. We can start with a trend of not inviting such people. It can be a personal affair!

11. Instead Use the money for something which is useful for the girl or Society

+ Put the money in Fixed deposit

+ Ask your parents to pay the down payment of the house wherein you can live instead of paying the rent, you can pay off installments- Think of all those couples who had a big fat Indian wedding but they still live in a rented accommodation.

+ Go for Charity

+Get married and invite orphans and poor people who cannot make it to even two square meals a day

We as a society have created a norm for #BigFatIndianWeddings its high time we break it.We need to bring the change because its easy for the rich but it’s breaking the backs of the poor.

We request all of our readers to take a pledge themselves and to spread the word to Say #NoToBigFatIndianWeddings by posting a picture on Instagram and discussing the ill effects of big fat Indian weddings. If you do so do tag us : @eraofdreams #EraOfDreams

We request you to take a pledge like so:-

“I take the pledge to conduct a #CuteLittleIndianWedding when I get married. I will invite those who actually know me not those who are an obligation to be invited. I will make sure that there are only some essential snacks and main course which is served. The leftovers would be distributed amongst the poor. No Plastics or things which degrade my mother earth would be used.” #SayNoToBigFatIndianWeddings #EraOfDreams #IStandByIt

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Love, Nikita Naiyya